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This text based on Chapter 30: The connection between narcissism and romantic relationships The handbook of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder: Theoretical approaches, empirical findings, and treatments (pp. 344–350).
The big contrast is that on the one hand narcissists are experts in initiating romantic relationships, but on the other that their relationships are often problematic. They often cause many problems that are harmful to their partner.
The writers discuss three models, namely the Agency Model, the contextual amplification model and the Chocolate Cake Model. The first two focus on narcissism in relationships and the latter investigate the experience of relationships with narcissists, seen from the partner's perspective.
The big contrast is that on the one hand narcissists are experts in initiating romantic relationships, but on the other that their relationships are often problematic. They often cause many problems that are harmful to their partner.
The writers discuss three models, namely the Agency Model, the contextual amplification model and the Chocolate Cake Model. The first two focus on narcissism in relationships and the latter investigate the experience of relationships with narcissists, seen from the partner's perspective.
For the definition of the term narcissism, the writers use the assessment by the Narcissistic Personality Inventory. This means great narcissism.
In this model, narcissistic romantic relationships are seen as part of a general self-regulatory system. These relationships have a functional role in the life of a narcissist. This is comparable to many other relational processes and behavioral processes. There are five fundamental characteristics, namely:
The following three processes are mutually reinforcing:
Narcissists do this by:
This model focuses on areas or contexts of life in which narcissists are the most successful. These are usually new or unstable contexts. For the Contextuel Reinforcement Model there are two additional elements, namely the experience of the narcissist's relationship partner and the change of life in the short to long term.
In this model the focus is on the experience of the relationship with the narcissist from the perspective of the partner. In this model, having a relationship with a narcissist is compared to eating a chocolate cake. In the short term, this seems to be a better choice than eating a salad, for example. After all, it is much tastier. But in the longer term, eating a salad is a better choice than eating a chocolate cake. The chocolate cake can, for example, cause excessive calorie intake or weight gain. Although eating the chocolate cake seems a better choice in the short term, it is not in the longer term. This is also the case when it comes to a relationship with a narcissist. In the beginning it all seems great and beautiful, but in the longer term it causes a lot of damage.
No, according to the writer it is extremely difficult to change a narcissistic personality. One of the main reasons for this is that narcissists do not find it necessary themselves. After all, they often already feel superior to others. as a result, they lack the motivation to seek help for their own (seen by others as) problematic personality.
Narcissism plays a paradoxical role in relationships because it is both a powerful force for initiating positive relationships in the short term and also the cause of significant relationship problems in the longer term. This is the optimal path for narcissists, but of course not for their partners or the social structure.
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Je vertrek voorbereiden of je verzekering afsluiten bij studie, stage of onderzoek in het buitenland
Study or work abroad? check your insurance options with The JoHo Foundation
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