The listening skills can be divided into non-selective (actually impossible not to perform) and selective. The 'non'-selective skills include non-verbal behavior, careful following of the conversation and the use of moments of silence. Selective listening means asking questions, reproducing the information given in one's own words, stimulating precise answers and summarizing. Regulatory skills relate to opening of the conversation, formulation of goals, making agreements about goals, clarifying situation and concluding the conversation. These skills coincide with the phases of problem clarification, problem nuance and problem handling.

How does the social worker start?

First of all, the counselor must make clear what the usual course of events is, so that the client knows what to expect. The counselor must explain what his way of working is. The caregiver cannot do this if the client is completely confused. However, if the client is not particularly confused, the counselor can explain how he works and can make some suggestions. If the client agrees with these proposals, then both can start using them. If the client does not agree with the proposals, a different way of working must be implemented. Because of the structure that the counselor introduces in the beginning, the client will also get more clarity. Some practical issues will also have to be discussed in the beginning; such as the costs and duration of the calls. If both parties know what they can expect, an initial contract can be made.

Which 'non'-selective listening skills are important?

Being able to listen to someone properly is a profession in itself. One must show interest without interrupting too much. One has to listen carefully, but not lose sight of the role of caregiver. The caregiver must also keep his attention focused on his profession. In addition to listening, non-verbal behavior is another important aspect. This behavior has a lot of influence on communication between people. The facial expression is one of the most important forms of non-verbal behavior. For example, a smile can express interest and a sense of consent while a frown will express antipathy and disapproval. Different facial expressions have different meanings at different times. The rescuer can choose to manipulate his facial expression. He must be careful that he does not do this too much. As a result, he may lose his attention and the client may think that he is not being taken seriously. Eye contact also plays a very important role. Lack of eye contact by the health care professional could indicate that they are not involved. Excessive eye contact could lead to a feeling of discomfort. Finally, the body language plays a significant role. A relaxed body posture is the best posture. Gestures that encourage the client such as encouraging nods are also desirable.

A verbal way to pay attention is to follow what the client has to say. The counselor does not try to steer the client, but tries to stick to the client's storyline. In addition, the counselor tries to encourage the client, among other things by giving short verbal responses, such as 'like that' and by asking specific questions. The response from the counselor is in line with the client's story. It is also important at this stage that the counselor uses silence. The client is then given the time to 'dig up' information and process information. However, silence can also indicate the fear of continuing to talk. For example, the counselor can ask why the client is silent and can make the silence negotiable.

Which selective listening skills are important?

Asking questions is the most important part of selective listening. You can ask questions about anything. The counselor will proceed selectively with regard to asking questions. Does he comment on the situation or does he emphasize the client's inner self? Which questions are correct and which are not? In the first place, questions can be divided into open and closed questions. Open questions offer the client the initiative. A distinction can also be made between open questions that respond directly to what the client has said and open questions that deviate from it. With the help of the latter variant, you can initiate a new topic. Closed questions are questions that can only be confirmed or denied. Closed questions give direction to the answers, so that the client is limited in providing information. Moreover, it is possible that the client takes less and less initiative. He no longer feels responsible for and involved in the conversation. Closed questions have the advantage that they provide concrete information and are sometimes experienced as less threatening.This is particularly true at the start of a conversation.

Another skill with regard to selective listening is to display important information of the client in his own words, the so-called paraphrasing. This must take place during the interview. In this way, the client realizes that his information is not aimed at deaf ears. Repeating the client's words can make the client feel ridiculed. Secondly, the counselor can check whether he has understood the client. Thirdly, the paraphrase can give the client more clarity. Reflection of the feeling means that the counselor tries to empathize with the client's emotional world and expresses this understanding. He then focuses less on content. In counseling, people talk about two types of feelings: single feelings and multiple feelings. Single feelings are clear - positive or negative emotions. One is angry or one is cheerful. Multiple feelings are much more complicated. All kinds of emotions can run together. For example, one can be ashamed, happy and anxious. When paraphrasing the content and reflecting the feeling, it is important that the response of the counselor has about the same intensity as the words of the client. Another important skill with regard to problem solving is the 'realization'. The counselor must let the client tell the problem precisely and concretely. The techniques mentioned in the previous paragraphs can contribute to making the problems concrete. Examples of specific questions are: Which events are important? What behavior does the client display within the context of the circumstances? How do others respond to this? What are the thoughts of the clients? What preceded these events? Finally, the care provider must summarize the information.

What is the purpose of regulation?

The purpose of regulation is to maintain order and overview. One way of regulating is to return to the goals that were set at the beginning of the conversation. Often these goals will be sub-goals. After all, people often work via sub-goals towards the main goal while solving the problem. If a sub-goal is not achieved, one can take a step back or come up with a new sub-goal. In this way you work step by step on solving the problem and you maintain an orderly situation. Another regulatory skill is clarifying the situation. This means that the care provider intervenes if the conversation or the mutual relationship leads to misunderstandings or ambiguities. The counselor must constantly view the conversation and the mutual relationship 'from a distance'. The counselor keeps track of this meta-conversation.

Thinking out loud is also a form of regulation. The openness will contribute to a smoother course of the conversation. This is partly because the mutual relationship improves. The client hears the counselor thinking and feels understood. In many cases it also leads to more clarity. Moreover, thinking aloud has an exemplary function. The client learns something from the therapist's thinking steps. Finally, the counselor must close the conversation. There are different ways to end a conversation. You can briefly summarize the conversation and then agree how to proceed. One can also ask what the client found important in the conversation. Sometimes it happens that a client starts talking about his problem when the time is up. There is even a term for this: the doorknob phenomenon. The counselor would do well to listen briefly to the client, but not to sit with the client for another 30 minutes. He will have to take this into account next time.

Question 1: What is the advantage of open/closed questions? 

The advantage of open questions is that the client is offered the initiative, and that they usually provide more information. The advantage of closed questions is that they provide concrete information and are sometimes experienced as less threatening.

Question 2:  Put the skills below in the right categories: 

Non-verbal behavior - summarizing - opening the conversation - formulating goals - attentively following conversation - making agreements about goals - making use of moments when nothing is said - paraphrasing given information - stimulating precise answers - clarifying situation - finishing conversation - asking questions

The most important things you need to know

The 'non'-selective skills include non-verbal behavior, careful following of the conversation and the use of moments of silence. Selective listening means asking questions, reproducing the information given in one's own words, stimulating precise answers and summarizing. First of all, the counselor must make clear what the usual course of events is, so that the client knows what to expect. The counselor must explain what his way of working is. Being able to listen to someone properly is a profession in itself. One must show interest without interrupting too much. One has to listen carefully, but not lose sight of the role of caregiver. The caregiver must also keep his attention focused on his profession. Asking questions is the most important part of selective listening. Secondly, the counselor can check whether he has understood the client. Thirdly, the paraphrase can give the client more clarity. Reflection of the feeling means that the counselor tries to empathize with the client's emotional world and expresses this understanding. The purpose of regulation is to maintain order and overview. One way of regulating is to return to the goals that were set at the beginning of the conversation.