What are the influences peers do have on each other? - Chapter 13

In the text below, Peers are people of about the same age and status who are not relatives.

Why and how to form friendships?

Relationships with peers contribute to the development of a child. Piaget stated that children are more open and spontaneous in expressing certain ideas and beliefs towards peers than towards their parents or other adults. Vygotsky stated that children learn new skills and develop their cognitive abilities through relationships with peers. A friend is a person with whom an individual has an intimate, mutual, positive relationship.   

How do children choose friends?

Children usually become friends with peers who are pleasant to deal with and who behave pro-socially towards others. Another determining factor is equality of interests and behavior. For young children, proximity is an important factor, this becomes less important with age. Most adolescents report that school is the most common setting in which they spend time with their close friends. Another important factor is gender, girls are mostly friends with girls and boys with boys. In addition, there is also a tendency for children to be friends with others from their own racial or ethnic group, although this influences on a lesser extent.

Cultural differences influence how children approach their peers to form relationships. In addition, cultural differences influence the roles of peers and families as sources of support and companionship. In some cultures, children rely much more on family than on peers for support. Cultures also differ in the number of hours that children spend with their peers. Finally, differences were found in how children from different cultures interact with their peers. There are also similarities in cultures, like the fact that aggression is more acceptable for boys than for girls.

How do early friendships look like?

Really young children already show preferences for certain children. If children are 3-4 years old, they can form and keep friendships. While the amount of cooperation and positive interactions between young friends is greater than between non-friends, the amount of conflict is also greater. This is probably due to the fact that they spend more time together.

How does friendship change over time?

As children grow older their friendships change in terms of intimacy. Children between 6 and 8 years, mostly define their friends in terms of who they play the most. From this age until adolescence, things like sociability, equality, acceptance and trust become more important. In adolescence, individuals focus more on a few close friends. These changes are probably a consequence of the ever-increasing ability to take the perspective of others and of changes in reasoning about friendship.

What is the role of technology?

Social technologies, such as social media, increasingly play a role in interactions between children and their peers. Researchers have identified a number of ways in which electronic communication facilitates the formation and retention of friendships:

Greater anonymity can help, especially for shy children, to interact with others online.

Less emphasis on physical appearance ensures that children connect more based on shared interests and personality rather than on appearance.

More control over interactions gives the feeling of being in charge of social life.

Finding similar peers is easier via the internet.

24/7 access ensures that children can connect with their friends throughout the day.

It's fun to connect by sharing photos and videos online.

The rich-get-richer hypothesis states that young people who already have good social skills mainly benefit from the internet when it comes to developing friendships. The social-compensation hypothesis, on the other hand, states that especially lonely, depressed and socially anxious youths benefit from social media because they can think beforehand about what to say. Unfortunately, there are also disadvantages, such as cyberbullying.

Unfortunately, cyberbullying is becoming more common. The most common form is spreading gossip online. Especially girls and LGBTQ youths are the most victims of cyberbullying. Bullies seem to benefit socially from their behavior, they are more popular. There are successful interventions to combat cyber bullying.     

What effects does friendship have on psychological functioning and behavior?

Friendship provides emotional support and the validation of one's own thoughts, feelings and value. It also provides the opportunity for the development of important social and cognitive skills. Friendship can serve as a buffer for unpleasant experiences. Around the age of 16, adolescents indicate that friends are more important counselors than their parents.  

Friends who discuss emotions with each other and positively interact with each other, develop an understanding of other people's mental and emotional state. Openness stimulates cognitive skills and improves creative performance. Close, mutual friendships in primary school are linked to all kinds of positive psychological and behavioral outcomes.     

Friends can also have negative effects on each other. Children in elementary school and early adolescence with antisocial and aggressive friends, also show this behavior more often. It is only difficult to determine whether children choose friends who are similar to them or children start to become like their friends over time. Young people who are anti-social express aggression and deviant behavior through their talking and behavior and by making the behavior seem acceptable. This is a process called deviancy training.  

Adolescents abusing alcohol or drugs often have friends who do so too. Again, it is unclear how the relationship works. In addition, these young people attract each other because of the same genetic composition giving them the same temperamental characteristics, such as risk-seeking behavior. An uninvolved or authoritarian parenting style results in an extra risk because young people are more vulnerable to peer pressure.

Girls often need more attachment and dependence in their friendships than boys. Also, they get back sooner to their friends for advice or help than boys. For this reason, girls report getting more upset when friends betray them, for example. This can lead to more vulnerable and shorter friendships. Girls more often co-ruminate than boys, which can reinforce anxiety or depression.

What are the types of interactions?

How do social networks look like in childhood and early adolescence?

Most children are part of a clique. This is a peer group, children form voluntarily and be a part of. Often a clique consists of children of the same race and gender. A clique consists of three to ten members. Even if members of a clique do many things together, they often do not see each other as best friends. This makes a clique unstable. The functions of a clique are mainly to socialize with each other, share common interests and to belong to a group. 

How do social networks look like in late adolescence?

At a later age, the idea to belong somewhere and adapt to the standards of the clique becomes less important. Adolescents are more interested in individual friendships than in group relationships. 

Although children no longer belong to a clique, they form or belong to a crowd. These are groups of adolescents who have the same stereotypical reputations, such as the popular people, the loners, or the freaks. In secondary school, the groups eventually consist of men and women, and not just of the same gender as before.

What are the negative influences of social networks?

A gang is a loosely organized group consisting of adolescents or young adults who identify themselves as a group and often engage in illegal activities. A gang often encourages problem behavior, such as delinquency and drug use, sometimes it is even an obligation. The potential for susceptibility to peer pressure is influenced by family and cultural circumstances. An authoritative parenting style can serve as protection.   

What is the impact of bullying and victimization?

There are four forms of bullying:

Physical bullying: hurt someone physically or threaten to hurt.

Verbal bullying: insulting, teasing, harassing or intimidating someone.

Social bullying: excluding someone from conversations or activities, spreading gossip or not wanting to become friends.

Cyberbullying: the use of technology to hurt or harass someone, by for example messages, e-mails, websites, videos, photos and fake profiles.

Bullies are often insensitive and antisocial, prone to peer pressure and higher in social status. Often, they have insensitive, rough parents. Victims are often rejected by peers, depressed, perform poorly in school and sometimes are aggressive. A small percentage is both a bully and a victim of it. These children are often aggressive and anxious. There are children who protect victims, this helps reduce bullying and protects the victim.

Romantic relationships between peers develop in early and middle adolescence. Young adolescents are drawn to characteristics that bring status, such as someone who is appreciated by peers. Older adolescents are drawn to characteristics such as kindness, honesty and intelligence. A romantic relationship is important for the feeling of belonging somewhere and for status. In late adolescence it can provide a sense of self-worth. Early dating and early sexual activity are associated with problem behavior. Another negative effect is sadness when the relationship ends. The relationship with the parents is reflected in the romantic relationships.

What kind if status the child can have in the group? 

The sociometric status is a measurement that shows the extent to which children are liked or disliked by their peers as a group. 

Which characteristics are associated with sociometric status?

The sociometric status is influenced by the physical appearance, social behavior, personality, cognitions about yourself and others and goals. The most common sociometric system classifies children in one of the following five groups:

Popular children. Children who are rated as accepted and impactful by peers. These children have a high status, they are often pro social but could also be above average aggressive and therefore not necessarily the most likeable. Relational aggression can consist of excluding others, destroying relationships between others, spreading gossip, not wanting to become friends and ignoring others.

Rejected children. Children or adolescents who disliked by many peers. Or children liked by few peers. There are aggressive-rejected children and withdrawn-rejected children. Aggressive-rejected children are inclined to physically aggressive behavior, disruptive behavior, delinquency and negative behaviors such as hostility and threatening. Withdrawn- rejected children are socially withdrawn, suspicious and timid.    

Ignored children. Children or adolescents who are disliked or liked by few peers because they simply do not notice them.

Average children. Children or adolescents who are regarded as average likeable by peers. 

Controversial children. Children or adolescents who are liked by many peers but also are disliked by many peers.

Interventions have been developed to improve the interactions of a child with other children by helping them understand their own emotions and those of others and to help them regulate their own behavior. In the PATHS (Promoting Alternative Thinking Strategies) program, children learn to identify emotional expressions and to think about the causes and consequences of different ways of emotion expression. In addition, it gives children opportunities to develop conscious strategies for self-control. In several studies, PATHS has proved to be effective. The improvements in social competence are expected to result in a better social status.

Which cultural differences and similarities are there?

In countries ranging from Canada, Italy and the Netherlands to Indonesia and China, rejected children are often aggressive and disruptive and in most countries popular children are described as prosocial and as having leadership skills. Chinese shy, sensitive, prudent children are seen by their teachers as socially competent and as leaders and they are liked by their peers, while this is not the case for Western children with the same qualities. Chinese culture is committed to self-efficacy and withdrawn behavior, Chinese children are also encouraged to behave accordingly. Western cultures place much more emphasis on independence and assertiveness. In China, it is becoming increasingly important to be assertive.

What is the role of the parents?

Parents can play different active roles in their children's competencies of dealing with peers. Two notable roles are monitoring their children's social life and coaching them in terms of social skills. For example, young children whose parents have given opportunities to interact with peers are often more positive and social with peers. In addition, it is more easily for them to initiate social contact. Children also benefit from emotional coaching of their parents. 

What is the relationship between attachment and competence with peers?

The relationship with the parents influences the social competence of the child and the quality of relationships with others. An insecure attachment often predicts a weak competence for social relationships. A secure attachment, on the other hand, predicts a strong competence for social relationships.   

What is the relationship between parent-child interactions and relationships with peers?

Socially competent, popular children often have mothers who are, among other, warm and discuss feelings with their children. This stimulates the self-regulation of the child. However, strict education with low levels of monitoring is often associated with non-popular children who are victims. These effects are probably bi-directional and both environmental factors and biological factors play a role. Parents can also serve as a buffer if relationships with peers are difficult for the child.