What is this article about?

Research shows that the most common perpetrators of evil are caused by friends. However, little further research has been done into this. That is why the writers in this article discuss the special features of friendships that differentiate hurt or injury in relationships between friends from such experiences in other personal relationships that we find important.

The writers present three lines of evidence which, according to them, show that there is an urgent need for more systematic investigation into forgiveness and revenge in friendships. Which three?

The writers then mention the following three guidelines:

1. Friendships are one of the most common contexts in which people are confronted with offenses, provocations, betrayal and other aversive experiences;
2. More than in other forms of relationships, wrongdoing can be more difficult to forgive and generate a greater desire for revenge when they occur between friends;
3. Friendships are unique, they differ from other important interpersonal relationships in that they are, for example, relatively free from obligatory ties, duties and other relationships.

Themes in friendship: violation, forgiveness and revenge

What is this article about?

Research shows that the most common perpetrators of evil are caused by friends. However, little further research has been done into this. That is why the writers in this article discuss the special features of friendships that differentiate hurt or injury in relationships between friends from such experiences in other personal relationships that we find important.

Why do writers find friendship an important theme?

Usually friendships are deeply intimate and therefore they are often subject to specific and often strict rules of conduct. In this article the writers zoom in deeper into the characteristics of the victim, the friendship and the violations that are likely to promote or not allow forgiveness and / or revenge. In particular, the writers in this article also consider the role of gender, such as homosexual and cross-sex friendships.

The writers present three lines of evidence which, according to them, show that there is an urgent need for more systematic investigation into forgiveness and revenge in friendships. Which three?

The writers then mention the following three guidelines:

1. Friendships are one of the most common contexts in which people are confronted with offenses, provocations, betrayal and other aversive experiences;
2. More than in other forms of relationships, wrongdoing can be more difficult to forgive and generate a greater desire for revenge when they occur between friends;
3. Friendships are unique, they differ from other important interpersonal relationships in that they are, for example, relatively free from obligatory ties, duties and other relationships.

Which characteristics of a victim do writers discuss?

The writers explain that victims can have different characteristics. Reliable predictors of forgiveness at the level of broad personality dimensions are a variation in acceptability, emotional stability and honesty and humility. The opposite often predicts the level of revenge.

Is narcissism a potentially valuable predictor of forgiveness and revenge?

The writers think so. Narcissists are less forgiving and are more opposed to their own forgiveness. They are more concerned about her personal costs and less convinced of her moral accuracy. In addition, they are often much more demanding of those who have harmed them.

What is the verb between dedication and forgiveness, according to the writers?

Allocation can be associated with forgiveness in various theoretical and practical ways. In this way dedication promotes forgiveness. The higher the dedication, the more inclined we are to forgive someone for his offenses. Dedication also moderates on the impact of forgiveness on psychological well-being. Finally, forgiveness can also help maintain engagement with the partner, with the exception of serious violations.

What gender differences in friendship rules do writers discuss?

The writers suggest that when it comes to violations that violate fundamental friendship, this has more effect on girls than on boys. Moreover, girls have higher expectations of loyalty and commitment than boys. This is especially important in their childhood and adolescence.

What differences and similarities do writers discuss when it comes to same-sex friendships?

Women have higher standards for their friendships compared to men. Women also have more criticism of violations of norms in friendships compared to men. This especially comes to the fore when the subject of transgression was related to trust and intimacy. Women also attach more importance to intimacy and closeness in friendships in comparison with men. A possible explanation for these differences between men and women is that women have less power in society than men. This may make them more dependent on their skills, for example for support. According to evolutionary psychology, this can also be caused by carrying and raising children. In times of need, they need more close ties with other women.

What differences and similarities do writers discuss when it comes to cross-sex friendships?

Cross-sex friendships both intimacy, companionship and social and emotional support, just like same-sex friendships. Yet there are also differences. They are free from a number of competitive tendencies inherent in same-sex characteristics and naturally offer a view of the world of the opposite sex. They can contain an undercurrent of romantic and / or sexual tension. This can jeopardize friendship. Men in particular indicate that they feel more attractive to the girlfriend compared to women. However, when people are not involved in a romantic relationship, they have higher expectations of their same-sex friends.

The writers cite three considerations that they believe should serve as a guide for investigating responses to acts of wrongdoing by friends. Which three?

The writers mention these three considerations:

1. In their studies of forgiveness and revenge, investigations should in particular embrace the considerable diversity that characterizes friendships;
2. Investigations should focus more on the offender / revenge taker who does harm to the victim than to the victims (most investigations focus on this);
3. Investigations should focus more on the comparison of forgiveness and revenge between different types of relationships, such as friendships and romantic relationships. This with the aim of getting clear which variables and processes are important within the context of a relationship and in other relationship situations.

What conclusion do the writers draw at the end of this article?

The writers draw the conclusion that in today's Western society, friendships can have a greater meaning in people's lives than ever before. This is caused by demographic changes, such as falling marriage rates and the resulting increase in the number of single people. But the conclusion is that there may be more causes behind it. Such as shifts in gender relationships and patterns of family structure.

According to the writers, is it important that even more research is done into friendships?

The writers of this article claim it is. The attractiveness to study friendships can increase because friendships are becoming increasingly important in people's lives than in the past. Potential damage that violations, betrayal and the like can cause in friendships increases the urgency to investigate friendships. From this we can learn how people deal with acts of injury and offenses committed by their friends, or by themselves committed against their friends.