Children develop certain forms of attachment. Attachment is an emotional bond with a specific person, a bond that remains constant over time. Attachment is often discussed as the relationship between a child and his/her caregiver, but attachment can also occur in adulthood.

Which attachment styles do we distinguish?

What is the attachment theory?

The attachment theory was proposed by Bowlby. This theory states that children have a biological predisposition to attach themselves to the caregivers, in order to increase the chance of their own survival. Later, Ainsworth expanded and tested Bowlby's ideas. According to Freud, children's development is shaped by their early relationship with their mothers. Bowlby agreed on this, but changed the idea of ​​Freud's "needy, dependent infant" into a "competence - motivated child" that uses his/her caregiver as a secure base. This secure base is based on the idea that the presence of a trusted caregiver can provide a child with a sense of security and makes it possible for the child to explore the environment.

The attachment process has an innate basis, but its development and quality depend on the experiences of the child with their caregivers. According to Bowlby, the development of attachment takes place in four phases:

1. Pre-attachment takes place from birth to the age of 6 weeks. Here babies produce innate signals, such as crying. The baby is reassured by the comforting action of the caregiver.
2. Attachment-in-the-making takes place between the age of 6 weeks and 6-8 months. Babies react to familiar people, for example by smiling, laughing out loud, or babbling. They calm down more quickly and build up a sense of trust in the caregivers.
3. Clear-cut attachment takes place between the ages of 6-8 months and 1.5 years. In this phase babies actively seek contact with the caregiver. Babies greet the mother when she appears, but may experience stress when she leaves: separation anxiety or distress.
4. Reciprocal relationships take place from the age of 1.5/ 2 years on. Children develop cognitive and language abilities to understand the feelings, goals and motives of their parents. This creates a mutual relationship in which the child plays an active role. In this phase, the separation anxiety becomes less.

The outcome of these phases is an emotional bond between child and caregiver(s). The child develops an internal working model of attachment. This is the mental representation the child has of himself, of the attachment figure and of relationships in general. This mental representation has developed through experiences with the caregiver(s). The internal working model guides the interactions of the child with other people, even when the child grows older.

How is security of attachment measured?

Ainsworth did research in both the USA and Uganda, where she studied the mother-child relationship during infants' explorations and separations from the mother. In this way she measured the quality of the child's attachment with the parent/ caretaker. Based on her observations, she came to the conclusion that two main factors provide insight into the quality of the attachment: the extent to which the child uses the caregiver as a secure base, and the child's reaction to separation and reunification with the caregiver. Later, Ainsworth designed a test based on these factors: The Strange Situation test. This test consists of seven situations, each three minutes long. The child will experience alternating situations like separations of the mother, return of the mother, and arrival of an unknown person. From this study, Ainsworth identified three attachment categories:

• Secure attachment style: the child has a positive, trusting relationship with the attachment figure. The child is to some degree distressed in the absence of the caregiver and happy with the return of the caregiver. These children use the caregiver as a secure base for exploration.
• Insecure/resistant or ambivalent attachment style: the child is clingy and stays close to the caregiver instead of exploring the environment. The child cries intensely in the absence of the mother and is difficult to comfort on her return. To comforting attempts of the mother, it reacts with both searching for and resistance to the comforting attempts.
• Insecure/avoidant attachment style: The child seems indifferent and avoiding to the caregiver before leaving and is also indifferent and avoiding when the caregiver comes back. If the child becomes upset, it can be comforted just as easily by a stranger as by a caretaker.

Because a small percentage does not fit into one of the three attachment styles above, a new attachment style was created:

• Disorganized/disoriented attachment style: the child does not have a consistent way to deal with the stress of the Strange Situation Test. Their behavior is confusing and sometimes even opposing, often they seem dazed and disoriented.

Also other methods to measure attachment have been developed over the past few decades. A frequently used alternative is the Attachment Q-short. In this test parents, teachers or observers need to sort a number of cards with descriptions of child behaviors. They need to sort these cards into different piles corresponding with how well they describe the target child. This leads to a characterization of the child on a continuum from secure to insecure. Attachment is not a fixed quality: there is moderate stability in the safety of the attachment, but this can change during childhood. Measurements like questionnaires have been developed to measure attachment security in adulthood.

It has been investigated whether the absence of primary caregivers and the care by non-primary caregivers interfere with the children's ability to form a secure attachment. It has been shown that children aged between 15 and 36 months who are in childcare were just as likely to be secure attached to their mother in comparion to children who did not go to childcare. The sensitivity of the mother was an important predictor for this. High quality childcare can function as compensation for insensitive and non-responsive mothers. The only way that childcare can interfere with the attachment is when the quality is low.

What factors determine individual differences in attachment?

Only a few cultural differences were found in the categorization of the attachment styles. However, there is a difference in percentage distribution, meaning how often certain attachment styles were found.

There are two main sources for the differences in attachment: (1) sensitivity of the parents and (2) genetic predispositions. An important aspect of education that is linked to attachment is parental sensitivity. This is caring behavior with expression of warmth and responsiveness to the child's needs. A securely attached child has parents who respond to the child's signals, who are affectionate and communicating and frequently initiate close contact with the child. An insecure ambivalent attached child has parents who are inconsistent in their reactions and seem overwhelmed with care duties. An insecure avoidant attached child has parents who are insensitive to the signals from the child, avoiding close contact and ignoring the contact attempts from the child or being angry, irritable or impatient. A disorganized/disoriented child has parents who are pushy and emotionally absent, who are dissociated or in a trance-like state, who confuse or frighten the child and who are cruel and hurtful. Other factors like for example, conflicts between the parents, will also play a role in the type of attachment style that children develop. Although parents do not show a consistent parental sensitivity, a child can still develop a secure attachment.

Various interventions have been developed for promoting secure attachment. If parents participated in an intervention, the chances were three times higher that the children would be securely attached. Especially if the intervention was already used in early infancy. A known intervention is the Circle of Security, in which parents have to reflect on their own mental representations about how parents and children should interact. After that, the parents are guided by a therapist in order to change any maladaptive representations. Another intervention is the Attachment and Biobehavioral Catch-Up, which is especially for mothers at risk of mistreating their children. The intervention focuses on changing behavior and appears to be very effective. These interventions show that any problematic parent-child relationship can be improved with clear improvements in the security of the attachment.

The genes also influence attachment. A recent study focuses on the possible influence of allelic variants of the serotonin transporter gene, SLC6A4, on the behavior in the Strange Situation Test. Other research is showing that the DRD4 gene, involved in the dopamine system, is associated with disorganized attachment of a child in stressful environments, but also with secure attachment in a less stressful environment.

What is the relationship between attachment and social-emotional development?

The way of attachment predicts the later social-emotional development. When children are securely attached, they experience better adjustments and more social skills than insecurely attached children. An explanation for this is that children with a secure attachment are more likely to develop positive and constructive internal working models of attachment. Also, they are more likely to learn that it is acceptable to show emotions. Securely attached children among other things, show closer and more harmonious relationships than insecure attached children. Attachment can change, for example if aspects of the environment change. In these cases, parent-child interactions or parenting behaviors are a better predictor for the social and emotional competence of the child at that age than measurements of attachment at a younger age.

How does "the self" develop in children?

How does self-concept develop?

The self-concept definition includes your own thoughts and attitudes towards yourself. The development of the self is important because it affects the feelings of well-being and self-confidence when confronted with criticism. The development starts in babies and runs till adolescence.

The self-concept in infancy: the child has to differentiate itself from the environment, which happens by developing the feeling that they are physical beings. Children learn this by interacting with their environment. Self-concept becomes more distinct at around 8 months and recognition of the self becomes clear at around 18-20 months, when children recognize themselves in the mirror. Cultural differences found here, can be linked to differences in education.

The self-concept in childhood: understanding yourself becomes more complex. The sense of self is largely a social construction based on the observations and evaluations of others, mainly of caregivers. Children begin to refine their self-concept in primary school, partly because they engage social comparison: the process whereby a child compares aspects of their own psychological, behavioral or physical functioning with aspects of others to evaluate themselves. Changes in the self-concept of older children reflect cognitive progress in their ability to use higher-order concepts integrating more specific behavioral characteristics of the self.

The self-concept in adolescence: thinking more abstract and describing yourself, for example as extrovert or introvert. Adolescents often develop multiple selves, they show a different self when they are with their parents in comparison to when they are with their friends. Initially, in early adolescence, thinking about the self is ego centric, this is called the personal fable. It is a form of adolescent self-centeredness including beliefs about the uniqueness of one's own feelings and thoughts. This form of self-centeredness also ensures that many adolescents are preoccupied with what others think of them, called 'having an imaginary audience'. Imaginary audience is the adolescent belief that everyone else is focused on your behavior and appearance. Adolescents are also very introspective: they think about who they really are. As people get older, they think less about what others think about them, and they want to work more on their own goals.

Children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) have different cognitive and emotional difficulties, including limitations in the development of ToM (theory of mind) and in their ability to identify with others. The question is whether this can be partly due to limitations in self-awareness. Researchers have found that children with ASD refer to themselves in the third person and have difficulty differentiating themselves from others. Interventions that focus on improving the self-awareness of children with ASD show that the right guidance can improve self-awareness without reducing self-esteem.

How does self-esteem develop?

The self-esteem is a general evaluation of the value that an individual assign to himself and the feelings generated by this evaluation. Self-esteem first occurs when children are about 8 years old. People with a high self-esteem feel good about themselves and are generally hopeful. People with low self-esteem often feel worthless and hopeless. Low self-esteem is often associated with problems such as aggression, depression, drug use, social avoidance, suicidal ideation and various other problems in adulthood.

There are various sources that cause individual differences in self-esteem. One of these is age. Self-esteem seems to be high in childhood, reduces in adolescence and then revives in adulthood. Attractive people often have a higher self-esteem than less attractive people. Gender is another source. Boys seem to have a higher self-esteem than girls, although this depends on the domain. Girls have a higher self-esteem when it comes to behavior and moral-ethical self-esteem and boys have a higher self-esteem when it comes to athletics, personal appearance and self-satisfaction. The most important source of self-esteem is the approval and support of others, mainly from the parents. Secure attachment and acceptance of the parents show a positive influence on self-esteem. The acceptance of peers is becoming increasingly important over the course of childhood. The tendency to evaluate the self based on the thoughts of peers is associated with, among other things, a preoccupation for approval and low self-esteem. In addition, the standards and values ​​of important people and one's cultural groups are important for self-esteem, as well as school and neighborhood environments.

Cultural differences can also be found here. For example, Western culture is mainly focused on individualism, while Asian culture is mainly focused on collectivism. For people living in a Western culture self-esteem is related to individual performances and promotions. For people living in an Asian culture, self-esteem is mainly related to people's well-being and social interdependence.

Many believe that children should be praised to ensure that they get a positive image of themselves. Researchers have done a lot of research into a specific type of praise, namely inflated praise. This exaggerated way of praising ensures that children with low self-esteem show less challenge-seeking behavior. Children with low self-esteem who were normally praised showed challenge-seeking behavior. The excessive praises can raise the bar: children start to avoid activities in which they may fail, a form of self-protection. The best thing is to praise a child for the effort it has put into something. This way they are encouraged to keep going if they face challenges.

How does identity develop?

The identity is the description of the self that is often externally imposed, such as by being a member of a certain group. Everyone has multiple identities present at certain times or in certain situations. Erikson stated that all adolescents experience an identity crisis at the stage of development that he called the identity versus role confusion phase: during this phase the adolescent develops either an identity or an incomplete and sometimes incoherent sense of self. The successful resolution of this crisis results in identity achievement. This is the integration of different aspects of yourself that form a coherent whole and is stable over time and across situations. Later, the idea that every adolescent goes through an identity crisis was rejected. More recently, researchers have defined more additional differences in identity. During a moratorium, an individual explores various occupational and ideological choices and has not yet made a clear commitment to them. They explore these possible commitments in two ways: in breadth (trying different candidate identities before one is chosen) and in depth (continuously monitoring current commitments to make them more aware).

Identity diffusion is a period in which an individual has no firm commitments regarding certain issues and does not make any progress to develop them. Identity execution is a period in which an individual has not done identity experimentation and has established a vocational or ideological identity based on choices or values ​​of others.

A key factor influencing the identity formation is the approach of parents, warmth and support is very important. The identity formation is also influenced by the larger social context and the historical context.

Ethnic and racial identity is the view and attitudes an individual has about the ethnic or racial group they belong to. Ethnicity refers to the relationships and experiences a child has linked to their cultural or ethnic origin, while race refers to the experiences a child has as a result of their membership, which may have been attributed by others in historical racial groups such as 'whites' and 'blacks'. From birth a child has no awareness of these components, but children between five and eight years are aware that they belong to a certain, unchanging ethnicity or race. People from minority groups face a difficult choice during adolescence: whether they choose the norms and values ​​of the ethnic group they originally belong to, or they choose the norms and values ​​of the dominant culture in which they currently live. Ultimately, these young people can also become bi-cultural: comfortable identification including the majority culture but also represent their own ethnic culture.

Ethnic and racial identities are linked to self-worth. Despite the fact that African American people often experience discrimination and stereotyping, they show higher levels of self-esteem. This may be due to it being an important part of their self-concept. Often acceptance of family, neighbors and friends is more important than reactions from strangers and society in general. Thus, Latinos, despite possible poverty and prejudices, do not differ a lot in self-esteem from for example Europeans. This is partly due to the fact that parents allow the children to find their identity in the family and the larger ethnic group.

How does sexual identity develop?

The individual identity also contains the sexual identity: the sense of being a sexual being. The sexual identity contains the sexual orientation: the individual’s attraction for the opposite gender, same gender, both or neither. Most likely, young people begin to have feelings of sexual attraction in puberty. Current theorists believe whether these feelings focus on the same sex or the other sex is partly inherited and based on biological factors.

Most adolescents are heterosexual, they are attracted to people of the opposite sex. The so-called sexual minority youth are the adolescents who are attracted to people of the same sex or to both sexes. Despite the growing acceptance towards lesbians, gays and bisexuals they often experience discrimination. They often feel different. It may take a long time before they recognize that they are lesbian, gay or bisexual. The process begins with the so-called first recognition, a first realization that one is in somewhat different from others. Then there is a period in which they test and explore, then they accept the fact that they are attracted to the same sex, and eventually they integrate it into their identity and come out to the environment.

When they come out, they often tell a good friend first, then the mother and eventually to the father. Parents usually respond supportive to the 'coming out', but it is not unusual that threats and physical violence is involved. Often bullying by peers and others in the community occurs, explaining the higher level of truancy in these young people. Therefore, the young people are more susceptible to, among other things, depression, low self-esteem and a reduced sense of control over their romantic relationships. There is also a greater chance of suicide, which has led to the rise of the It Gets Better Project, showing that connecting with other sexual minorities helps young people.